Everyday Parenting No.1
August 24,2016
Do you ever feel guilty after losing your gut trying to discipline your children? Well, this just happened to me last night. And honestly, I'm still feeling guilty, ashamed and sorry for not being/showing how a good parent should be to our daughters.
I've been shouting my brains out loud towards our 2 and 1 year old daughters for not listening that it's bedtime. I've been trying to put them to bed a 9pm, but at 11pm, both were still wide awake and playing!!! The morning after , I consulted my husband on how to deal with my guilt. His answer, just try to be a better one the next time. Still not convinced, I tried reading articles and doing some self reflection. Here are the things I learned:
1) Assess the situation.
We've been trying to change our kids day schedule. I asked my helper to have both kids nap twice a day. What I have in mind when we set this schedule is to maximize their growth potential, wherein sleep plays a big role. Consequently, this affected they're time to release their energy during the day making them still active until midnight. With this, it's clearly my fault that resulted them to behave that way that night. As a solution, our helper just puts them to nap once a day, for 2-3 hrs, and like a miracle, we are all asleep the next night at 9pm! Terrific!
2) Buy time for yourself.
Go to the bathroom or somewhere else even just for a minute to breath and think before going on rampage. Remember that your goal is to discipline your tiny munchkins and not for them to remember you as a monster-mom.
3) Be consistent and clear with your rules.
This goes to you, your hubby and whoever takes care of your children. Everyone must be abiding to the rules set upon. If you set a rule "NO EATING INSIDE THE ROOM",for instance, it should be for everybody, not only them. Likewise for Once your children gets accustomed to those rules, they'll know when and what to do. Children are wiser that we thought they are, never underestimate their ways of learning your rules.
4) Know when to reward good behavior and when to punish for the bad.
Being a Filipino, we tried to upbring them with local culture such as blessing or "mano" (taking the hand of an elderly and holding close to our forehead) as sign of respect. Every evening when we arrive, we train them to "mano" from us. Our one year old learned it faster than our older one as she thinks it's part of a play that we do whenever we arrive. Her elder sister, being not trained since her younger years won't buy the trick. What we did is to try to bring her things, anything from ice cream, or a pen as a simple reward for doing what is required. Luckily, she now have been used to doing it that she simply does it by herself when we arrive.
As per punishment, be consistent with when to give it. Up to how many times to you need to repeat your instruction to them before they get the punishment. Make sure that no one in your household would console them when being punished. It is not that you're being cruel, but drawing the line and letting them learn while they are still young is important.
So that's it! That's what I've learned from my experience and readings. Hopefully I can live up to what is expected from me as a parent and this post be helpful to other parents as well. Leave a comment if you find this post helpful!
Always remember, live happily and everything will follow!
Jeannine
Do you ever feel guilty after losing your gut trying to discipline your children? Well, this just happened to me last night. And honestly, I'm still feeling guilty, ashamed and sorry for not being/showing how a good parent should be to our daughters.
I've been shouting my brains out loud towards our 2 and 1 year old daughters for not listening that it's bedtime. I've been trying to put them to bed a 9pm, but at 11pm, both were still wide awake and playing!!! The morning after , I consulted my husband on how to deal with my guilt. His answer, just try to be a better one the next time. Still not convinced, I tried reading articles and doing some self reflection. Here are the things I learned:
1) Assess the situation.
We've been trying to change our kids day schedule. I asked my helper to have both kids nap twice a day. What I have in mind when we set this schedule is to maximize their growth potential, wherein sleep plays a big role. Consequently, this affected they're time to release their energy during the day making them still active until midnight. With this, it's clearly my fault that resulted them to behave that way that night. As a solution, our helper just puts them to nap once a day, for 2-3 hrs, and like a miracle, we are all asleep the next night at 9pm! Terrific!
2) Buy time for yourself.
Go to the bathroom or somewhere else even just for a minute to breath and think before going on rampage. Remember that your goal is to discipline your tiny munchkins and not for them to remember you as a monster-mom.
3) Be consistent and clear with your rules.
This goes to you, your hubby and whoever takes care of your children. Everyone must be abiding to the rules set upon. If you set a rule "NO EATING INSIDE THE ROOM",for instance, it should be for everybody, not only them. Likewise for Once your children gets accustomed to those rules, they'll know when and what to do. Children are wiser that we thought they are, never underestimate their ways of learning your rules.
4) Know when to reward good behavior and when to punish for the bad.
Being a Filipino, we tried to upbring them with local culture such as blessing or "mano" (taking the hand of an elderly and holding close to our forehead) as sign of respect. Every evening when we arrive, we train them to "mano" from us. Our one year old learned it faster than our older one as she thinks it's part of a play that we do whenever we arrive. Her elder sister, being not trained since her younger years won't buy the trick. What we did is to try to bring her things, anything from ice cream, or a pen as a simple reward for doing what is required. Luckily, she now have been used to doing it that she simply does it by herself when we arrive.
As per punishment, be consistent with when to give it. Up to how many times to you need to repeat your instruction to them before they get the punishment. Make sure that no one in your household would console them when being punished. It is not that you're being cruel, but drawing the line and letting them learn while they are still young is important.
So that's it! That's what I've learned from my experience and readings. Hopefully I can live up to what is expected from me as a parent and this post be helpful to other parents as well. Leave a comment if you find this post helpful!
Always remember, live happily and everything will follow!
Jeannine
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